If you thought Christmas crackers were just about bad jokes and paper hats, think again, these ones pack a way naughtier surprise.

Picture it: you and your lover pulling each end of a shiny festive cracker, and instead of a plastic toy, out pops something that’ll make both of you blush and grin. She’ll find a candy cane-striped bullet vibe with plenty of buzz to keep her merry, while he gets a stretchy silicone ring that promises some very long, very jolly nights. Both come with scratch-off game cards that reveal cheeky little challenges guaranteed to heat things up faster than mulled wine by the fire.

They’re fun, flirty, and already wrapped up in holiday cheer, so you can just slip them into a stocking and wait for the surprise when they’re opened.

Santa might only come once a year, but with these crackers, you two definitely won’t.