The Splash Blanket: Reviewed

 

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Who’s going to sleep on that wet patch? I used to lie in bed, mid-climax, stressing about the aftermath. Are we in the middle of the bed? Do I need to strip the sheets again? Will this lube ruin my $800 sheet set? My mind would sneak out of the moment and start planning laundry mid-foreplay, and honestly, it killed my vibe.

Then I tried the Splash Blanket. 

It’s unlike anything I’ve tried in the bedroom, it doesn’t vibrate, it doesn’t enter your body, and you don’t need chargers. I was curious….does this cult classic really deliver on the hype? And more importantly, does it help me access more pleasure? Because at the end of the day that’s all I care about!  

The answer is yes. Yes it does. 

The First Time I Tried It

I’ll be honest, I was skeptical. A blanket specifically for wetness? For squirting? 

Okkkkkkk….that’s not exactly a big focus for me in the bedroom, but maybe, just maybe, it could solve my wet patch dilemma that I’d been battling for years. 

IYKYK…you’re in the moment, starting to drop in, and then BAM your brain hijacks the climax and you’re worrying about the sheets getting wet. And just like that, your peak fizzles out into a tiny, teeny orgasm.

So I unzipped the Splash Blanket – love me a big, thick zip – ran my fingers over the fabric, and…instant relief. No cheap, scratchy, crackly-sounding hospital-sheet kind of material here. This was soft. Velvety. Luxurious. Fleecey. I was into it.

And of course, not to mention, it’s waterproof. Naturally, within 10 minutes of unwrapping it, I poured a full glass of water on it. Because… testing the hype is mandatory, obviously.

Read more: Let’s talk about squirting by Jules Vos.

Why It’s More Than A Splash Blanket

This blanket isn’t just for squirting or saving your sheets, it’s about freedom. Freedom to fully unleash without the anxiety of lube spreading across your duvet or worrying about sex fluids everywhere. You can literally go all in, then wrap it up and toss it in the wash. Effortless.

If you’re a clean freak like me, hi this is perfect for us! You can explore. Or you can get messy. You can fully embody your pleasure without your brain sneaking off mid-climax to plan the post-sex clean-up. That kind of freedom? Instant libido booster!

But it’s not just practical, it’s sensual and grounding. Soft, warm in winter, breathable in summer, it’s like a big hug for your nervous system. Nestling into it, I feel my body relax, my chest open, and my nervous system exhale. There’s something about having that fabric against my skin that gives me the green light to fully surrender and yes….that means my orgasms are deeper too.

This isn’t just a blanket, it’s a tool to help you really drop into the moment, into your body and into your pleasure. I know you think that could be far-fetched, but fabrics play a huge role in our ability to feel present.

Ok, My Honest Experience

First use? I wasn’t on earth. I. Was. Not. On. Earth! Every thought disappeared except for the sensations in my body – it was pure, unhinged pleasure. No “oh god, this better not be on my side of the bed”, it was just full presence, full-body delight, full-body awakening. I could stay in my body, connect fully with my partner, and the cosy, velvety fabric actually added to the experience.

As a mum, these moments are rare I tell you. Switching from ‘mum-mode’, constantly doing and being for everyone, to ‘sexual-woman-fully-relaxed-and-ready-to-feel-pleasure’, is not easy. I’m always looking for tools that help me – and mums in general – drop into the body effortlessly. And THIS blanket? A sensory game-changer for the nervous system.

Beyond a bedroom hero

The Splash Blanket is primarily marketed for sex, but it’s honestly way more versatile.

• Non-sexual: Outdoor rug, snuggle mat for pets, kids on couches, garden picnics.
• Other: Free-bleeding (finally), blanket for the bed.

I LOVE a good product that has a strong return on investment, and seriously, this blanket delivers on pleasure, practicality and peace of mind. What more could you want?

Pro Tips From Me

Here are my top three tips to get the most out of your Splash Blanket:

1. Keep it clean and ready. Under the bed, next to a side chair, whatever space you tend to get spicy, have it there. You don’t want to be hunting it down mid-pash.
2. Size matters. I have the large indulgent one and it’s glorious, but a smaller version is perfect for travelling, takes up less space in the washing machine, and dries quicker for those back-to-back nights.
3. Wash straight away. Don’t get caught out! Stick it in the wash that day or the next morning so it’s ready for round #2 that night.

No More Wet Patch Anxiety

The Splash Blanket isn’t just practical. It’s downright liberating. It gives you permission to let go, get messy, and fully embody your desires without your brain sneaking off to worry about sheets, laundry, or who’s sleeping where.

Those post-sex gymnastics around the wet patch are cancelled. Splash Blanket for president!