Have Yourself a Very Kinky Christmas

Mistletoe has always been an excuse to kiss, but this Christmas, why stop there when you can get kinky?

This festive season, let’s talk about kink. Not as something extreme or intimidating, but as intentional play. Kink can be gentle or wicked, silly or deeply intimate. It’s about curiousity, consent, communication, and choosing experiences that make your body (and mind) light up.

Whether you’re gifting to a lover, spicing things up with a long-term partner, or treating yourself (because yes, you deserve presents too), here’s how to have yourself a kinky Christmas.

Sensory play: When the body becomes the present

So much of our daily lives are lived in our heads. Sensory kink invites us back into the body. It asks us to slow down, to feel more, to let anticipation linger instead of racing toward the finish line.

This is where sensory toys really come alive. Think warm wax dripping slowly onto skin, soft silky feathers, ice cubes, and the ever-deceptive pinwheel. At first glance, the pinwheel looks delicate. Almost innocent. Some might even mistake it for a pie cutter left behind in the kitchen chaos of Christmas baking. But when it meets bare skin, something shifts. The light tracing of metal along your arm, across your spine, or over the curve of your thigh sends tiny sparks through the nervous system, waking nerve endings that didn’t even know they were asleep. Sensory play is less about intensity and more about attention.

The beauty of these kinds of toys is that they don’t overwhelm, they tease. They ask the body to pay attention and perhaps even ask, what’s next?

Read more: Sensory Play for Deeper Connection by Laura Lee.

Restricting the senses

One of the most powerful ways to deepen sensory play is by taking something away.

We tend to think pleasure comes from adding extra layers. More touch, more stimulation, more movement. But sensory deprivation flips that idea entirely. By gently removing one sense, the body instinctively turns the others up. Sound becomes richer. Touch feels louder. Anticipation grows.

This is why sensory deprivation is such a classic entry point into kink. The simplest place to begin? Sight.

A blindfold, hooded mask, or a silk scarf, instantly shifts the dynamic. When vision is removed, the body listens more closely. Every pause feels longer. Every touch lands more deeply because it can’t be anticipated.

Try this: one partner closes their eyes or is blindfolded. The other takes their time tracing the pinwheel over shoulders, down the ribs, along the backs of thighs. Pause. Let the anticipation linger.

Control: Surrender or take the lead

Control gets a bad reputation. But in the right context, with consent, trust, and care, control can feel exciting and liberating. Sometimes, the sexiest thing in the world is not having to decide.

Imagine not having to lead.

Not having to perform.

Not having to hold everything together.

Sold? It’s time to get kinky with restraints. Restraints aren’t about force, they’re about choice. The choice to be held. The choice to surrender movement. Or the choice to trust someone and say, “I’m yours for a while.” Restraints can be as simple or as elaborate as you like. Soft cuffs, re-usable bondage tape, shibari rope, under-the-bed systems, or even a bondage board, allow one partner to be physically held in place, heightening vulnerability.

And for the one holding control? There’s something erotic about being trusted. About knowing your presence alone can create safety and desire at the same time.

Read more: Bondage 101 by David Hollingworth

Getting Kinky this Christmas

Christmas already comes with rules. Who wakes first, when gifts are opened, who waits. Kink simply lets us rewrite those rules in a way that feels delicious instead of obligatory.

If sensory play is about awareness, control is about trust. Power play doesn’t have to look like Fifty Shades-level theatrics. At its core, it’s about consensually giving or taking control in a way that feels exciting and safe. For many people, that sense of surrender, of not having to decide, initiate, or lead, is a big turn on.

Hot tip: Control isn’t just physical. It can be verbal (“Don’t move”), situational (“You don’t get to touch me yet”), or ritualised (setting rules for the night). Start small, communicate clearly, and check in often.

Impact play: A little naughty, very nice

Impact play can look like using paddles, floggers, or whips. This one of the most well-known forms of kink, but it doesn’t have to be extreme or painful to be pleasurable.

For many people, impact play is about rhythm, release, and sensation rather than pain. The body responds with warmth, endorphins, and heightened awareness, which can feel grounding and euphoric.

Paddles, floggers, and whips each offer a different experience:

• Paddles provide a firm, thuddy impact. Great for more experienced.
• Floggers spread sensation across the skin, allowing for build-up. Great for beginners.
• Crops deliver sharper, more precise sensations (best explored slowly)

Tips for a playful, safe experience:

• Warm the skin first with touch or light strokes
• Start gently and build intensity gradually
• Avoid sensitive areas like the lower back or kidneys
• Aim for more fatty areas with muscle such as the bottom or thighs
• Always check in, especially if trying something new

Impact play can be deeply connective when paired with care, both during and after. A cuddle, warm blanket, or soothing touch afterwards helps the body integrate the experience and reinforces trust.

A Little Kinky Roleplay: ‘Tis the season to pretend

Roleplay doesn’t require acting skills or elaborate costumes – though a Santa hat never hurts. At its heart, roleplay is about stepping outside your everyday identity and letting desire take the lead.

What roleplay really offers is permission. Permission to step outside the identities you carry every day. To play with power, innocence, authority, mischief. Or just to be a little less known, and therefore a little more desirable.

Christmas is rich with kinky roleplaying archetypes:

• The rule-maker and the rule-breaker.
• Giver and receiver.
• One who waits… and one who decides.

Roleplay can be light hearted or erotic. It can involve laughter, pauses, and re-negotiation. When paired with kink tools such as restraints, sensory play, or impact,  it gives structure to fantasy. A beginning. A middle. A open-ended end.

Kink, at its best, is deeply relational. It asks us to listen, to check in, to notice when someone’s breath changes or their body softens. It’s intimacy with intention.

Try this: Set the scene before you begin. Who are you tonight? What’s allowed? What’s off-limits? Agree on a safe word. Then let yourselves play. Roleplay can feel vulnerable at first, but it’s also incredibly bonding. Laughing, experimenting, and exploring together builds intimacy as much as it builds arousal.

Doing Kink Right: a note on consent and care

Kink is not about pushing boundaries, it’s about choosing them together. Before diving into any new experience:

• Talk about desires, fears, and limits
• Establish consent and safe words
• Check in during and after play

Aftercare may include gentle touch, reassurance, cuddling, water, or snacks. is especially important after intense sensory or power play. It’s how bodies and nervous systems come back to baseline feeling safe, held, and connected.

Read more: How to Make Consent Sexy by Amy Louise.

Wrapping it all up

A kinky Christmas isn’t about being wild for the sake of it. It’s about intention, play, and permission to experience pleasure in ways that feel consensual, and joyful.

Whether you’re tracing skin with a pinwheel, experimenting with restraints, or discovering the electric intensity of impact play, remember: the most important ingredient is presence.

So light the candles. Lock the door. Put the toys under the tree. And have yourself a very kinky Christmas.